you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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