my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
