Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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