So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
