kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
