hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
