508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
