I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
