the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
