I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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