She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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