you traded sex for a burrito?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
