Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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