So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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