Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
