Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
