i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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