I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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