do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
