You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
