Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
