Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
