I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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