she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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