Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
