When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
