After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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