you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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