I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
