I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
