just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
