You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
