I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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