There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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