so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
