he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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