called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
