make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize