I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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