Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
