i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
