This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
