I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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