put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
