I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
