so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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