don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
