Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
