Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
