That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
