yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
