It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
