I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
