There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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